How to Use Tapping (EFT) to Release Social Anxiety

Maria Alda Gomez Otero
Jul 24
4 min read

A young person struggling with being different and social anxiety — Young person feeling anxious about social interactions in person

Do you often feel a knot in your stomach before a social gathering? Does the thought of speaking in a group make your heart pound? If you experience the isolating grip of social anxiety, you're not alone. Many highly sensitive individuals and those who feel "different" find social situations particularly overwhelming.

While traditional talking therapies offer valuable insights, sometimes we need a more direct, active way to shift those intense feelings. This is where tapping, or Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), can come handy.

What is Tapping (EFT)?

Tapping (EFT) is a powerful mind-body technique that combines gentle finger tapping on specific acupressure points (located on your face and body) with verbalising your feelings and intentions. It's like "acupuncture without needles," sending calming signals to your brain's fear center (the amygdala) while acknowledging your emotional experience.

Rooted in Energy Psychology and drawing from ancient Eastern philosophies about the body's energy system (like meridians), EFT helps to clear "stuck energy" and emotional blocks related to specific issues. Unlike simply talking about a problem, tapping actively calms your nervous system and re-patterns your emotional responses. A growing body of scientific research supports EFT's effectiveness in rapidly reducing stress, anxiety, and even trauma symptoms.

Why Tapping Works for Social Anxiety

Social anxiety often stems from past experiences or core beliefs that trigger a "fight, flight, or freeze" response in social settings. Your body perceives social interaction as a threat, even if consciously you know it's not.

EFT helps by:

Calming the amygdala: The tapping points directly signal the amygdala, reducing the stress response.
Disrupting negative patterns: It helps to interrupt the usual loop of anxious thoughts and physical sensations.
Releasing emotional charges: By verbalising your specific anxieties while tapping, you release the emotional intensity associated with them.
Promoting self-acceptance: The process encourages acknowledging your feelings without judgement, resulting in increased self-compassion.

Tapping points for guidance and self-help

How to Tap for Social Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide

Here’s a simple routine you can use to start addressing your social anxiety with EFT. Find a quiet space where you won't be disturbed.

1. Identify the specific situation (or a past memory):

Think of a specific social event or interaction that causes you anxiety. It could be an upcoming party, a past embarrassing moment, or just the general feeling of dread around meeting new people.
Be as specific as possible. Instead of "I'm anxious about people," try "I'm anxious about making small talk at my friend's party tonight" or "I feel embarrassed when I think about tripping over my words during that presentation last week."

2. Rate the intensity:

On a scale of 0 to 10, how strong is your anxiety when you think about this specific situation? (0 = no anxiety, 10 = extreme anxiety). This helps you track progress.

3. The setup phrase:

This phrase acknowledges the problem and accepts yourself despite it. Repeat it three times while continuously tapping the Karate Chop point (see image).
Example setup phrases:
- "Even though I feel this anxiety about going to the party, I deeply and completely accept myself."
- "Even though I'm so nervous about meeting new people, I choose to feel calm and confident."
- "Even though I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing and look foolish, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

4. The tapping sequence (reminder phrase):

Now, tap 5-7 times on each of the following points, repeating a simple "reminder phrase" that describes your feeling.
The Points (in order):
- Top of Head (TH): Center of the crown of your head.
- Eyebrow (EB): Inner part of the eyebrow, just above the nose.
- Side of Eye (SE): On the bone at the outer corner of the eye.
- Under Eye (UE): On the bone directly under the pupil.
- Under Nose (UN): In the small indentation between your nose and upper lip.
- Chin Point (CP): In the indentation between your lower lip and chin.
- Collarbone (CB): Just below the knob of your collarbone, either side.
- Under Arm (UA): About four inches below the armpit, on your side.
Example reminder phrases (while tapping):
- "This social anxiety..."
- "This nervousness..."
- "Afraid of saying the wrong thing..."
- "This fear of judgement..."

5. Re-rate the intensity:

After one full round of tapping, take a deep breath. Re-rate your anxiety on the 0-10 scale.
If the intensity is still high, repeat the process. You can adjust your setup and reminder phrases to focus on the remaining intensity (e.g., "Even though I still have some of this anxiety...").
If the intensity is low or gone, move to positive reframing (Step 6).

6. Positive reframing (Optional, if intensity is low):

Once the negative emotion has significantly reduced, you can do a few rounds tapping on the same points, but now focusing on how you want to feel.
Example positive phrases:
- "I choose to feel calm and confident."
- "I am safe and accepted in social situations."
- "I am comfortable being myself."
- "I allow myself to shine."

For a more comprehensive understanding of the full EFT process, you can download an official free manual directly from the EFT International website here.

A Note on Professional Support

While self-tapping can be incredibly effective, for deep-seated social anxiety, complex trauma, or if you feel stuck, working with a qualified Energy Psychotherapy (EP) practitioner like myself can provide profound and lasting results. We can identify root causes, blocks to healing, navigate complex emotional landscapes, and guide you through techniques like tapping (EFT), chakra clearing, guided visualizations, and IFS-inspired creative parts work to achieve genuine healing.